My wife and I just hosted a
birthday party for our daughter. Of
course the theme was Frozen, because
that is the only theme that exists in the minds of 9 year old girls right
now. My wife decorated the whole house
and planed tons of great games and activities.
The party games inspired the idea
for this post. You see, party games are
great until that awkward moment when someone wins, because that means everyone
else lost. Kids don’t handle losing too
well, and parents don’t enjoy explaining the harsh realities of winning and
losing. Often times we will gloss over
it as say something like, “Everyone did a great job!” or “You are all winners!” I witness the same thing at the elementary
school where I work. Everyone is
wonderful, awards are given out for everything and expectations are constantly
being lowered.
Unfortunately, that is not the way
real life works. Real life is
competitive and there is usually only one winner. Especially in the music industry, there is a
tremendous amount of competition. Even
if you practice eight hours a day, gig every weekend and hit social media as
hard as you can you still may not succeed.
Sometimes success is more about knowing the right people or being in the
right place at the right time.
So, how can a generation of “superstars”
who have never actually applied themselves to achieve anything make it in the
big bad world of music (or any industry)?
In truth, they can’t. By cushioning
the harshness of competition and reality for our children what we have actually
done is render them incapable of being driven and successful. In the music industry, I see the same theme
throughout the stories of many of the stars that have risen to the top. They were deeply committed to pursuing music. They faced a tremendous amount of hardship,
adversity and rejection before experiencing any level of success. The main factor that caused them to achieve
success was their tenacity and drive.
They were not willing to give up no matter what happened along the
journey.
Learning that level of tenacity and
drive can be a harsh lesson. I don’t
know if it is a good idea to try to teach that to young children, but it needs
to be taught at some point. People need
to understand that one’s full potential is not achieved automatically, and
there is often only one winner in the real world. Competition can cause stress and anxiety, but
it can also push driven people to achieve greatness. We need to come back to a healthy balance
between encouraging our young people and challenging them to achieve their
fullest potential.
